Caregiver Burnout
I remember the day my father got lost returning to his room from the dining room of the facility he’d moved into two weeks prior. This was a new environment: he had moved into an assisted living apartment and was awaiting my mom’s move-in from skilled nursing in the next building. Although his facility contract included escort service to and from the dining room, he tried to return to his apartment alone because no one had come and the dining room was empty.
My heart sank when I entered the empty dining room. I’d just left his room, so I knew he wasn’t there. Normally a situation like this was a red alarm event - sirens rang in my head, my adrenaline level increased, I went into high alert mode.
None of that happened. I realized, through this experience, that I was living, day to day, in red alert mode. Working a full time job, taking care of two senior parents and being a wife had taken its toll. Gone were the days of impromptu tennis matches, civic, church and community events, fun days with friends, restful nights of sleep and lazy Saturdays. This skewed, intense lifestyle had led me to live in a steady state of high alert.
I recognized what was happening and began seeking course correction advice. Key elements of my improvement were:
Restoring balance in my life
Identifying what brought me joy and doing two or three of them daily
Surrounding myself with things I love
Maximizing time with people who fed my soul; minimizing time with those who didn’t
Taking a stress management course
Caring for loved ones can be all-consuming. Like the pre-flight message heard on airplanes, caregivers must put on their own mask before helping others. You can’t help others when you need help.
Golden Nuggets:
This is one of the times a “me first” attitude is good.
Find balance across all facets of your life - socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically.
Only when you are at your best can take the best care of your loved one.
