Hope Lives Here
Finding Hope Amidst the COVID Crisis
It’s been a week since I saw Dad, a healthy 86-year-old with dementia and metformin-controlled diabetes. COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on the U.S. population; no group has been hit more heavily than the elderly. Through strict social distancing and quarantining measures, society is attempting to shield senior citizens - and us all - from physical harm. But little attention has been paid to the mental and emotional consequences of these policies.
My family was “coronafied” last week. Wednesday was a normal day. I worked all day and visited Dad during dinner. After confirming with the staff that Dad had eaten well, taken his meds and was in good spirits, I went to his room and laid out his Thursday clothes. I replenished his hygiene basket, kissed him, told him I loved him and left. I would see him tomorrow.
Twenty-four hours later, life as we knew it became a distant memory. There had been rumblings about the spread of COVID-19, but it was states away. We did not expect sudden socialization constraints in our state.
Against this backdrop, Dad’s facility abruptly banned family members. When I arrived for my nightly visit, the receptionist turned me away. If I had questions, the receptionist said, I should call the executive director. The facility was on lockdown until further notice.
In my inbox was a Thursday afternoon email informing residents’ families that visiting was prohibited. The message did not mention isolation side effects or how negative consequences would be addressed. I went into overdrive identifying ways to ensure Dad, despite my quarantine-induced absence, would feel safe, loved and wanted.
My action plan includes:
FaceTiming Dad weekly so that he continues to see and hear me
Taking Dad notes and cards that reinforce my love for him, tell him I miss him and remind him that I will see him soon
Cooking and taking Dad his favorite comfort foods
Giving Dad pictures and precious trinkets that will resonate with him and make him smile
Golden Nuggets:
Don’t assume all is well because your loved one has not been diagnosed with the novel Coronavirus; physical health is only one aspect of overall well-being
Don’t assume others, including facility staff, will develop a plan to address the psychological trauma caused by isolation policies
Consider using FaceTime, Google Hangout or a similar app to stay in touch with your loved one
Express love through random acts, such as kind notes and cards, pictures and favorite foods
Remember - and remind your loved one - this is temporary and God still reigns
